Intro to Mandi Faux

Hello there, my name is Mandi Faux and welcome to my official website. Thank you again for dropping in and wanting to get to know a little more about me. I have been on the world wide web ever since 2001 with various websites and forums. Also I have been under a few different names throughout my online history so in case you recognize me that is why. All of my previous web work has been to express certain areas of my life, however these were just bit parts. Scattering the pieces of my world around was good at first, allowing me to express, focus, and reflect upon their significance and importance to me. Some of this has helped me see things more clearly, helped me in ways to become a better person, and separate the fact from the fictional fantasy. The downside of this in retrospect was that I wasn't ever able to focus on really putting myself out there. Thus in turn people who came to know me, only knew these bit parts. This pink place is ironically not so faux, everything here is all real and all me. Putting the pieces back together and become the mystical self that I am.

In the beginning, 2001, I started on the web under the name Amanda Faux. The first site I had was a free homepage on Yahoo's Geocities. Just from a couple pictures and self promoting I had done, it became so popular that I put up a coinciding fan club, which later became part of the Yahoo groups. It wasn't long after that my site was going over bandwidth allotted for the free hosted site, that I took things one step further and started with my very first dot com pay site. Yes, pay site is what your thinking, I had a porn site. I learned a lot from doing that, not only in website building, production and promotions, but it also gave me a sense of actually doing something that I was good at. I did really enjoy that at the time. Not only the website aspect of it, seeing one of my dreams come true, but also meeting some of the girls that do their own websites. I never had one bad experience ever in the business end of the porn field. In fact, a couple of them I became really good friends with and still contact to this day. By the way, if any of you are thinking of joining and or subscribing to one of those pay sites, make sure it's owned and operated by the girls themselves. Support independence and support the stars of the cyber screen directly. The downfall of this area was when I was heading to Hollywood to try my luck at getting into the blue screen, and become a star of the movies. I actually had a contract waiting for 4 film box set, and just needed to pass the casting couch to get it. But, this was a post 911 world and the border was too strict to cross and I never made it. I felt stuck, and unsatisfied that the future could go no further. It was good in retrospect, I mean I had a site making enough money to live on and then some, and towards the end a fan club of over 20,000 people (one of Yahoo's largest groups in the adult transsexual area), but even that left me blue wanting more. I obsessed and depressed on this to the point I didn't even feel like updating or carrying on because I couldn't see the good because the brighter lights blinded me to reality.

That lead to 2003 when one end transitioned towards a new beginning. New starts can be good, however still blinded by the bright star dreams lights, this was a regression into my dark place. To know the dark place I speak of, one has to know the path that got me there. I have had issues with eating ever since the age of 10 years old, and around the time I was 17 to 18 years old it had progressed into various eating disordered patterns and behaviors. Some roads will be forever unknown, I shall never speak of those trails. The journey towards the dark did begin at 10, when I was poked in the belly called fat and laughed at by a whole class including the teacher. Nobody really knows or understands how much that hurt me then, and set the stage for my life. I swore I never wanted to hear those hurtful words ever again and began doing things to try and be thin and slim. I had no idea that I was heading towards an ed at an unstoppable rate. I began to have trust issues too and isolated, went from the one who never stopped talking to the one who never spoke in an instant. A lot of what triggered me as well was the fact I was constantly told who I was, what I could and could not do, and no matter what I did it wasn't good enough. Up until this point I would not wish that area of my life on anyone. It's been hell getting this far, and even though I know who and what I am now, I have a feeling the easy ride of life is still no where near the future.

The eating disorder sites of mine began in 2003 when I felt all these pressures and stresses coming back to me, and I needed to know that I wasn't alone. I heard of proana through a news article and thought yeah, help to loose weight no matter what I went to check it out right away. Joined my first forum and was met with the most hostile unfriendly people ever. It was extremely cliquish back then, and I got blasted out for not being ed enough, not being thin enough, and that made me so much more triggered and upset that I left in tears. I came around later and thought why does anyone want to be part of that and why isn't something done about it. I knew I was good at web stuff so I decided to start my first eating disorder support site. It became one of the most innovative sites of its kind, not being preachy recovery, and not being fiendishly extreme dieting, it actually supported the people the way it should of always been, in ways not even the professional places could ever do. Currently I have several ed support sites and forums that are still running to this very day, and some of those are among the most popular ones on the internet.

With that in mind, this site is not like any other site I have done. This is literally a place where I can give you a reflection of me, and get a lot more personal, to put forth some of what I have learned and gone through hoping that nobody has to travel some of the roads I have and seen the things I have seen. Of course there is a few uplifting quotes and messages that have helped me reach within and be able to carry on strong no matter how weak I was inside. Some of the poetry is and will be of a darker side though to express some of my previous and current inner demons.

As superficial as it is, looks are important to me to be able to do some of the things I do. I mean, there are people here only to look at the pictures. It is just the way the world is, and yes, playing the "star" it's just part of the world that I'm in. Some have asked me where I get the inspiration for my look and style from. As you may of read in the favorites and facts area already that I'm into Samantha Fox. She has been an idol and favorite entertainer of mine since 1986. Her style is totally sexy, got a real sense of humor, and overall is one great personality. Kate Moss is also one of style idols. She is still one of the most famous supermodels to ever walk the runway. With her rail thin yet healthy appearance and long brunette hair she remains one on my list of top lookers. More of the ones on my look list include Jan Smithers (she played Bailey on the television show WKRP), Catherine Bach (Daisy Duke - Dukes of Hazard), Sally Field (Smokey & the Bandit) Christina Applegate (Kelly Bundy - Married with Children ... her clothing style in particular) Jennifer Aniston (Rachel Green - Friends), Jennifer Tilly, Paris Hilton, Angelina Jolie, and Calista Flockhart. Mix all that up in a metaphorical blender and you get the idea of the overall look that I try to achieve that makes up the Mandi Faux look.

I am many different things, but I refuse to be known solely because of them. You can put a lot of pressure and stress on people with stereotypical labels, and I despise that about society. I'm not a stereotypical person, I'm a person who may have some qualities but that does not in any way say who I am. Gender, sexuality, disorders, race, religion, weight, height? They all say nothing about you, only you can make your own statement in life. Just be yourself, because if you don't ... people are not seeing the real you anyways so all the secret efforts to become something you are not is null and void.